Dealing with a never-ending series of bad events in your life.
Your mother gets cancer, your grandfather passes away, your best friend’s house burns down, and you have a miscarriage – all in the same month. Suddenly, all of the good times from years past have disappeared and your life is enveloped in a dark cloud of sadness. How do you get out from under the cloud and carry on with life?
Deal with It
The first step to recovering from a series of bad events is to deal with each of them, one at a time. In order to do this, you’ll have to determine what is necessary to mentally handle each event by itself. Your mother’s cancer will require ongoing medical attention. If you’re the caregiver for your mother, it will also require a lot of your physical and emotional energy. Accept the fact that your mother has cancer, believe her physicians are doing all they can to help your mother, and plan to do whatever it takes to lend a hand.
Mourning your grandfather’s death and your miscarried child may appear to require the same steps, but you may have to take them separately. You loved your grandfather for many years, yet the small child growing inside of you became as important to you as your grandfather – though you never even met your unborn child. Give yourself time to mourn both in order to be prepared for the next step.
When you first get news of your neighbor’s house burning down, telling them they’ll have to move on may seem extremely insensitive. And it is. In order to move on in a healthy manner, your neighbor will first have to come to terms with what has happened. You can help them do this by providing for their immediate needs (shelter, food, and clothing) and allowing them to bring up the topic of what they will do next.
Once your neighbors understand the extent of their losses, once you have properly grieved your unborn child, then and only then are your neighbors and you ready to get up and move on to what life will bring next. More than likely, the painful curveballs will come again, but there will be joy and happiness, peace and normalcy in the meantime. Moving on in a timely process allows you to revel in all the positive things that occur in your life between the heartache.
You may think you have the strength to make it through life’s ups and downs alone, but when they come in threes or fours, it can be too much for you to handle. Instead of carrying your heavy load on your own, seek the counsel of a trusted friend or family member. Isolating yourself from others will only make it more difficult to recover from a tragedy in your life.
It may also be helpful to join a support group with people dealing with the same life issues. Other sources of comfort and assistance include psychologists and church leaders. You may not like the idea of sharing your misfortune with others, but allowing yourself to open up with others aids in the healing process.
I Want to Get Away
When life is crumbling around you, you may feel like running away. And that may not be a bad idea. In fact, grabbing a bag lunch and driving for a couple hours may be just what you need to clear your head and figure out your next step.
Just be careful you don’t leave too soon or for too long. If your loved ones are hurting also, leaving them too early or for too long a period of time may cause them to feel abandoned and angry at you on top of the sadness brought on by whatever event caused you to need to get away. So get away, but get away at the right time for the right amount of time. And come back ready to support your loved ones as you all work through the hard times ahead of you.